Just another sound...

"You're Cute When You Scream" By Senses Fail


(Fuck with my heart)
I'll teach you what it's like.
(To be so used)
That you'll have to clean.
That dirt stuck in
Your plastic finger nails.
And just the scent of you is enough
(To make me sick)

And all I know is revenge is sweet when...

You know that you are worthless
And I am better than
The games that you play princess.
(I've played) and always win.

(I'll take my time)
To slowly plot your end.
(But now I will)
Spit bullets with my pen.

And all I know is you're cute when you scream.

You know that you are worthless
And I am better than
The games that you play princess.
(I've played) and always win.

I'll take you to the top,
Of this building and just push you off.
Run down the stairs so I can see your face
As you hit the street,
the street, the street, the street.

You know that you are worthless
And I am better than
The games that you play princess.
(I've played) and always win.

(This time I win. So here's your kiss goodbye.)

The next time I am going to be angst over a lover. Or ex lover. I will be sure to think of this song and cluck...

That 3rd verus is very emo and impacting. Yet disgusting at the utter though.

It's just a monster...

Still no word yet from my new job at Coles about the induction - I have been waiting for an email off of them for a week now. I was told to ring them tomorrow if I do not receive it.

I've been very restless, emotional and inpatient lately. Part of the reason is, I haven't been getting enough sunlight and I have had to sleep during my afternoons off which happen 3-4 days a week.
I feel that is Daniel is still the only thing to keep myself from feeling truly happy. I was having thoughts yesterday about being single again. It's not what I really want - It wasn't me thinking that, it was my "sad" side, wanting to free itself from everything pinning my moods down and he isn't the problem. He makes me feel alive and smile!
He is really the support I need right now. I would be okay on my own otherwise.
Hence, I finally understand how my ex was feeling, except he disregarded all feelings on the matter for the most degree and screwed me around. Things turned out better though. Truly, despite my work issue lately, I have been better without him and with someone else...or even on my own again.

I was upset before he rang me last night...as soon as I spoke with him, I forgot about what I was unhappy about. I have realised most of the time when people are unhappy, a lot of thoughts are very much distorted in the brain. It's a monster all in my head and it's not even damn real!


xx.

Sometimes you just have to get up and fight back...With a key and locked heart.

Lucifers-light said...

"And I would ransom the world to place a smile upon your face."

Awww, such a poetic soul. <3
It makes me feel loved and wanted! - Thank you, Bob.

I'm feeling better today, I decided to take a day off from work to relax and do something that I would enjoy. Although, I did apply for some work. I know, I wont be hearing from them soon though.

Besides, I didn't find out until 10pm last night that I had to be up at 5:30am for vine yard work, otherwise, I would have gone to bed early. I didn't want to wake up feeling like utter shit this morning. Plus, yesterday was an 'emotional' day for me. I'm guessing, my period isn't helping my moods either. Stress tends to bring it on earlier for me, sometimes, sexual activity does as well. Not like I have had any of that lately.
The last time I was depressed was when my last boy friend broke up with 2 months ago. I haven't seen him around, I still think about how he is doing for himself though. I told myself I wouldn't ever mention his name again on my blogs nor even write about him. As if he never existed in my memory. But, considering the situation now, I feel the need to reflect upon my mood then, putting it into context as of now.

So, I ended up taking some more beach photos to post on Live Journal.
It seems to be a project that I am enjoying; sharing photos I have taken with the internet, from around here. It's something to keep my mind busy. Apart from work, social life is still okay. It hasn't been easy to make close friends here. I'm getting there though. I don't wish to end up hanging around the wrong crowd again. I'm such a sensitive soul. It only destroy what ever is left inside myself. Sometimes, I just feel so brittle inside.

xx.