Just where have you gone?

Hello there,
Not much happening, just yet. I have secured a place at Coles supermarket after completely a 6 hour online induction, which only took me 4 and half hours. I get paid to do as well.

This Tuesday, I have a 3 hour in-store induction. I have a week of training to do. I'm excited to start a new job that has decent hours, rather then having to get up at 4:30am every morning. It should be a good experience for me as I haven't had much customer service experience yet. I'm hoping I don't learn to less appreciate the human race, it seems they are a generally a bunch of pigs - That's what i learnt off the cleaning job!

I miss Daniel. I was going to see him today. His car wouldn't start this morning though. I was feeling really tired, I needed a sleep...I still feel he is the only thing at the moment keeping me walking along. Still, I've become much more optimistic about things due the past week. Thank god for options!

xx.

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It's just a monster...

Still no word yet from my new job at Coles about the induction - I have been waiting for an email off of them for a week now. I was told to ring them tomorrow if I do not receive it.

I've been very restless, emotional and inpatient lately. Part of the reason is, I haven't been getting enough sunlight and I have had to sleep during my afternoons off which happen 3-4 days a week.
I feel that is Daniel is still the only thing to keep myself from feeling truly happy. I was having thoughts yesterday about being single again. It's not what I really want - It wasn't me thinking that, it was my "sad" side, wanting to free itself from everything pinning my moods down and he isn't the problem. He makes me feel alive and smile!
He is really the support I need right now. I would be okay on my own otherwise.
Hence, I finally understand how my ex was feeling, except he disregarded all feelings on the matter for the most degree and screwed me around. Things turned out better though. Truly, despite my work issue lately, I have been better without him and with someone else...or even on my own again.

I was upset before he rang me last night...as soon as I spoke with him, I forgot about what I was unhappy about. I have realised most of the time when people are unhappy, a lot of thoughts are very much distorted in the brain. It's a monster all in my head and it's not even damn real!


xx.

My ears are burning...

My mother is having her test next week. She said, she is feeling very "unbalanced". Strange. It may be an inner ear problem or a mid stroke. :(

I have got offered a job at a supermarket and they will pay me well as a casual ($18) an hour. I'm much happier with that. I told Chicken Treat to stick it!
I need to build up my customer service skills to improve my confident on communicating with people.
I've been hearing rumors that the manger there is a total sleaze from everyone! I wouldn't disbelieve it for a second either. Because, he kept touching my cheek when I went in there on the first day and the second visit too. I wouldn't be able to do anything about it unless, I have "evidence". The world just doesn't believe what someone says anymore...

I'm seeing Daniel tomorrow. I really can't wait. I'm sure he can't either. =)


xx.

Let me breathe...

I've started a new job. About time too!
I have a cleaning job at the Dunsborough mall. I start at 5am - 8am, then, I have afternoon shift at 2pm-5pm. Just for my training though, I am only starting the morning for the first few days. So I get into a routine pattern.

I was feeling desperate and starting to feel that I was losing hope in everything in general.
I hate to use the word, "desperate" as I always imagine myself clinging on to someone for dear life with fearful tears in my eyes. Yep, that's defining, "desperate" to me...
Senseless hope in a way. A senseless need. Like crying alone in my room, hoping for something, in fact, anything that will make me see the light!

I need the answers...badly. I need to know this or that. If none can answer my questions, then what is the point in it?

My work mate is actually, a really nice guy too. His name is Wayne. He is a bit old for me though! Haha. Aw, he told me I have a nice smile...and that I should smile more often!

I want to stay single for a while, at least, until I know I have met the right person. When-ever that will be, I'll just know it, like almost mindless response to the word, "YES!", jumping into deep dark water below.

xx.