I am brittle.
Brittle like a cracked heart at the best of times.
That's how I feel inside something.
I tend to take things to the heart too much, I'm a sensitive person.
Like the expression, "These words have torn my world apart", I feel as if I am truly that inside. They are only words, they can't hurt me. But, they can if I let them.
I may over look into a situation, occasionally. A lot of females do that. Which often leads to depression or an emotional upset. The mind can only handle so much.
But, it's the little things in life that make me happy, that make me smile.
Little things that I treasure so much.
Whether, it's drinking a coffee on a nice sunny day or receiving a special present from a friend to remember them by. Or just simply being appreciated by another human being. It just means SO much to me.
That is what I meant. When I say that I am brittle.
I feel as if sometimes, I get upset too easily or I emotional work up myself up sometimes. I've been trying to be more 'happy' this year. Although, I have been a lot happier since I moved over here to Western Australia. It's such a beautiful state. I never miss home though. I miss my Mother and Father and friends, of course.
I'm going to be returning home for a few weeks for my 21st at the end of May. I can't wait to see everyone again.
I will admit though, I have been a little bit lazy with phoning people; I feel as if I haven't been ringing some people enough. Some people do even bother ringing me anymore. Although, I always talk to my Mother or Father every few weeks.
xx.
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1 comment:
Greetings dear friend:
Your's is such a different world than mine and yet, every once in a while, I feel as though I have entered it and am able to view that which is happening to you--albeit, perhaps, from my own perspective.
In your defining "brittle" you stated: "I tend to take things to the heart too much, I'm a sensitive person." Perhaps that is our main link to each other. For I know I do also. Oh, I know I put on a good show in public and I make people think I am tough and can take it. But I am sensitive and things can hurt me often--especially those words you speak about. And, like you, these words have torn my world apart so many times that I often think there is no more world for me. No more place within that world where I can be and live.
Every day, I find the world becomes more cruel and heartless. More vulgar and disappointing. And I grow more convinced I do not belong in this world.
I do not think it is just females who do what you speak about. Unless my female side is more prominent than I think it is. For I internalize a lot.
Your growing friendship to me causes me to appreciate you even more than I did on LJ. Yes, I liked you and appreciated you. But I have found a whole other side to your personality here and it gives me reason to appreciate you all the more. I cherish every time I open this up and find a word from you. These past few days have meant so much to me to find your comments. And to read what you have to say to me in your own blog.
Speaking of mom's, as this post says, I spoke to mine today. We had a long distance talk for about 15 minutes. We shared some minor laughs and news. It was good.
Well, I feel this to be our main source of communication so I will not tie up the line right now.
I just wanted to let you know I continue to look forward to your writings and that they make my day/evenings.
Have a good day.
Your friend.
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