I've started a new job. About time too!
I have a cleaning job at the Dunsborough mall. I start at 5am - 8am, then, I have afternoon shift at 2pm-5pm. Just for my training though, I am only starting the morning for the first few days. So I get into a routine pattern.
I was feeling desperate and starting to feel that I was losing hope in everything in general.
I hate to use the word, "desperate" as I always imagine myself clinging on to someone for dear life with fearful tears in my eyes. Yep, that's defining, "desperate" to me...
Senseless hope in a way. A senseless need. Like crying alone in my room, hoping for something, in fact, anything that will make me see the light!
I need the answers...badly. I need to know this or that. If none can answer my questions, then what is the point in it?
My work mate is actually, a really nice guy too. His name is Wayne. He is a bit old for me though! Haha. Aw, he told me I have a nice smile...and that I should smile more often!
I want to stay single for a while, at least, until I know I have met the right person. When-ever that will be, I'll just know it, like almost mindless response to the word, "YES!", jumping into deep dark water below.
xx.
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Glad to hear you have a new job. Sounds like it may offer you the stability that you lacked in the grape picking. That's good.
Once again, your words rise above your age and show you to be more mature than age. Such sentences as: "Senseless hope in a way. A senseless need. Like crying alone in my room, hoping for something, in fact, anything that will make me see the light!" You seem to speak of things that are beyond the reach. A few lines down you repeat the same isolational feeling by saying: "I need the answers...badly. I need to know this or that. If none can answer my questions, then what is the point in it?"
My dear, I have sought the answers to these questions all my life and still have not found them. I am beginning to think that maybe I've been wrong: Maybe there is no answer to every question we can think. I used to believe there was. But now I am wondering.
I hope you have more success than I at finding the answers to your questions.
Have a good weekend.
Your admirer....
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