Thursday, February 01, 2007

This is life...Sometimes, it hurts.

I am not happy.
You know it's serious when I am unhappy. I'm such a bouncy person and when I am like this I'm not that way at all. I'm negative a lot. Totally opposite to the usual me. Negativity only drags you down further...

I am very rarely ever this unhappy.

I don't feel going to work tomorrow. What is the point?

I want a new job. I'm over vine yard work. I knew I would be.
Working with Katie and Luke is stressing me out because, I don't know when or if or even where the work is and I knew it would be this way...

It's full time work. Just not what I want anymore.

Then again, there's no point in myself just sitting around the house tomorrow either.

I feel that this week has been a disaster. I tried to plan for it. I was hopeful, only to be knocked down. That's reality in your face. *sighs*

At least if I do have work tomorrow it will keeps things off my mind. There is something for to look forward too!

Now, no more moping. *shakes herself*

I have applied for a few job. I am waiting for now to hear back from them. I'm hoping, just hoping...I just a reply. Maybe, it would be better if I rang some of them back? I'm not sure.

My sister has noticed during this evening that I am acting unhappy. She told me not to be because, I have people around me that care about me and she's right. But, I feel in my own little world that it is almost not enough. I know the utter feeling of someone showing they care about is enough to put a smile on my face.

Which reminds me I have barely smiled all day! Hehehe!

2 comments:

Lucifers-light said...

Greetings my Friend:

After the way your words touched my heart yesterday, I am moved to great sorrow to read your post today. That you are suffering is not that which I would desire for you. Your youth and innocence is such that you do not deserve to have these heavy problems with work and such. That you do not deserve to have your heart sad and troubled. Oh, that I could reach out and touch your life, wave a magic wand and make all those problems turn into rich assets for you---I would not hesitate to do so right now.

I am happy you are sharing this portion with me. That you consider me such a good friend that you are able to relate to me all those things which weigh upon your heart and soul and know you will be welcomed and received and heard by me. That you are accepted and understood by me. That you need not pretend nor wear a mask to hide your genuine feelings from me.

It is good that you have others about you so you are not completely alone as I am. But even they cannot always be there for you when you truely need someone. The state of "alone" is not always easy nor fun. But it happens and all we can do is try to work our way through it to the other side. Most times we make it. Again, you are young. You have that more than anything on your side.

Know that I bid you all that is good and prosperous and kind and rewarding.

Have a good day.

Lucifers-light said...

And I would ransom the world to place a smile upon your face.